Tag Archives: Congress

NaMo TRAVELS TO MARS….

WHEN NEWS OF MARS’S WATER BROKE..

The reported signs of water on Mars has led to fountains of joy erupting across the globe.

In India and outside of social media, the 5 am and 12 midnight firecrackers otherwise meant to wake up toddlers and ailing senior citizens during Diwali and Ganpati festivals, lit up Earth’s sky as news of Mars’s water broke.

The Ministry of External Affairs went into overdrive, looking pretty spaced-out though.

How could a planet highjack attention from the Great Leader who had just concluded his meeting with the Zuck? The thing had actually dropped out of the sky – and that too from a planet that had chosen to be red when it could have been saffron.

The Great Leader however was nonplussed. Outer space begone, this could be turned into a gimmick in the social media space.

Loosening his sweaty  grip and jaado jhappi on Zuck and deploying the full force of nasal passage, he intoned, “It is auspicious. This discovery on Mars coincides with my rediscovery of Mar(k)s.”

On cue, the crowd of 43 NRIs, photo-shopped to look four million, chanted NaMo, NaMo across made-in-China TV screens worldwide. The photoshopper wanted to include a few Martians in the crowd too, but decided otherwise because those darned Martians look green.

NaMo paused, stared into the cameras, wiped three branded tears on his Crocodile kurta and promptly told his team to cancel all forthcoming 18 foreign trips. “I want to go to Mars,” he announced, adding softly from the side of his mouth, “before the Patels get there.”

His crack social media team swung into action, launching (faster than ISRO could say Mangalyaan) the twitter handle NaMoMa (NaMo on Mars). The Great Leader has since then tweeted that part of the funds of the Clean Great River campaign will now to diverted to cleaning up the percholate-y, briny stuff passing off as water on Mars.

He has followed that up with another tweet: Not just funds, but H2O too will be diverted from the Great River to water the slopes of Mars.

The Make in India team has gone into overdrive as well. A crack team has been assembled to build a pipe to carry the water that will go from India to Mars. The pipe, cheap and hardy as all good desi products are, will come from the godown of Indian Pipe Dreams Co.

Congress, on the other hand, is up in arms. Its spokesperson, has just made a daring revelation that the Grand Old Party was the first to discover life on Mars. The Cong spokesperson declared that when the party’s heir apparent RaGa had disappeared and everyone knew not where, he had actually gone to Mars.

Twist in the tale: A revered saint from hinterland has poured water over everyone’s plans.

Mars, he says, is Shani. Which brings bad luck. “Mars jaogey to mar jaogey,” he has warned.

Last heard, our own DeFa has banned the use of the word Mars from all conversations.

In sharp contrast, the local alliance partner of this bad political marriage which also heads the BMC , has moved a resolution to rename Mars.

Meanwhile, NaMo’s teams are busy preparing visa documents for other available ‘auspicious’ planets.

RaGo has asked his distribution team to check if TiNo network will be available in Mars too.

Advertisements

INDIAN (COPY) RIGHT

 

 This is a blog I had penned in March this year, 2009. Reproducing it here, as, once again, I realise, some things don’t change.  India continues to shine. Reflected or otherwise. What is mine, is mine. What is yours…ummm..is….Of course,  mine too:)

Vasudhaiva Bharata Kutumbkama. The world  is one large Indian family.

Now with (Indian) Venkatraman Ramakrishnan sharing the Nobel,  we go back to several debates which were on the back burner.

 Why did we allow them (these talents)  to go out of India? They have Indian blood in them and…..(Brain drain etc). Why were they allowed to settle in any other country? (Raj T Bhaiyya, please enlighten us).

Lets leave Raj and co out of our classrooms. Seriously speaking, isin’t it high time that we re-look at the higher education and research facilities in India.

We have an option. Annually, wait for the Nobel/Oscars/Grammy/etc etc and look for Indian roots. And then issue a standardised press release. Claiming ownership.

—————

blog dated 13/03/09

What’s common between Vikram Pandit, Kalpana Sharma,Vikram Chatwal and ummmm Bobby Jindal? A cursory Google check will tell you how big they are on the Who’s Who wire frame of the world. And yes, they have a strong India connect no doubt.

But ask the government in power, and it will not hesitate in staking ownership over their hard work. Don’t we remember how just everyone bent backwards digging out Pandit’s India-Mumbai and Nagpur roots the moment he was tipped to take over the Citi.

Now, take Slumdog for instance. No sooner than the Oscars were done with, the ‘CONG HI KAMAAN” , as Hindi news channels refer it as, excitedly claimed how “in the current regime, India has made it to the Oscars in such  grand fashion”…. Thanks to the UPA regime, I am sure that’s what they had wanted to convey. The BJP did say (almost) the same but, worded it differently.

So earnestly did the Congressi netas say it, that I wondered if Danny bhai should have in his acceptance speech actually thanked MADAM for her contribution to the movie as well. (Imagine if had he done that, it would have become part of the campaign manifesto)

But to each his own. One wonders where the same politicians disappear when their ‘desi’ heroes are down in the dumps. I remember how local leaders had gone to town claiming proximity to Mumbai/Nagpur lad and citibanker Vikram Pandit when he took over the citi which never sleeps.

 Now that he is spending sleepless nights, where are these leaders? MiD DAY’s stark revelation of Shafiq Syed, the star of Mira Nair’s acclaimed Salaam Bombay was then, a hero. Today drives an auto rickshaw. The Times of India has reported a shocking story of Preeti Mukherjee, who walked up the same podium at the Kodak Theatre when a documentary portraying her life won an Oscar four years ago.  The glory and limelight was shortlived.

Poverty struck-Preeti is  now into sex- trade in Kolkata.

 

ends